How to overcome feeling not enough and the need to “fix” you

by purelytwins

Hey soul sister,

In today’s soul sister chat we are addressing a question we got during our #PT16x16 challenge.

One day during the challenge we posted about how we didn’t have the right mindset, which was hurting our results. We kept thinking there was something that needed to be “fixed”. We weren’t doing enough so our search to fix us went on for years. But we realized that we weren’t broken it was our minds that needed fixing. We tried everything out there to “fix” us and nothing was working so we had to try something new — our self-love spiritual journey began.

Changing your thoughts, old beliefs and stories is hard to do. But once we started working on our inner selves things changed for the better for us. Which you have seen here. We want you to break through and let go of all the negative thoughts holding you back because you are enough and do enough.

How to start feeling enough and break through the need to “fix” yourself

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So many of us are our own worst critics when it comes to our perception around what we have or have not accomplished, including how we look. The world we live in now places value on what you look like, body perfection. Magazines, TV shows and social media kind of makes all of us feel not enough. We start picking at our bodies, doing extremes like overexercising, binge eating etc.

We start to feel not enough based on how we view our bodies.  Not thin enough so not good enough. 

We base feelings of worthiness, happiness, success on outside factors. We did and it is still something we are personally working through. Detaching meaning to numbers and focusing on how we feel.

Body image insecurity is not really about YOUR BODY but lack of WORTHY OF LOVE. 

You don’t feel you’re worthy of LOVE!

This was a huge piece of the puzzle for us to realize that our issues with our bodies were because we didn’t feel worthy of being loved.

Changing your inner mind chatter to be less about what others think or say and more about finding peace with yourself will help you feel enough.

Seeking outside factors will leave us unsatisfied, not feeling worthy of love. If we keep basing our own happiness in what we look like and what others think of us we will always be on the hunt to fix us to make us feel enough. Exhausting to think about isn’t.  It was for us.

The key is that we are all WORTHY of love. We are all worthy of achieving all that we desire.

There are so many layers to answering this question but we share some of the starting steps we took to shift from not feeling enough with our bodies to feeling enough.

After years of being obsessed with trying to find that thing (diet, workout, product,etc) to "fix" us because we didn't feel good enough, we have started to shift that mindset during our self-love spiritual journey. In this Soul Sister chat we address a question about breaking free from the "fix/not enough" mentality. We share some starting steps you can start to take to help you feel enough and realize that you aren't broken.

Starting steps to end the “fix/not enough” mentality:

  1. Be compassionate to yourself and love yourself unconditionally
  2. Define what “enough” is to you. What does accepting your body mean to you?
  3. Ask yourself WHY. Why do you feel you’re not good enough?
  4.  Practice gratitude. Celebrate your small wins.

Be aware you have this “I am not enough”thought is a huge step to healing.

Understanding your thoughts and stories about not feeling enough will help you end those thoughts.

As we mentioned in the video it’s not about being perfect, but living more mindful. When you have negative thoughts, ask why and then flip it.

Getting a coach to help you is an important step to take. It’s okay to ask for help.

Other articles to check out to help you on this journey of realizing you are enough:

How to have a positive body image so you can do more in life

8 ways to improve your life

improve self-image to change your body

how to be more compassionate to yourself

how to stop the feeling to fix yourself

Change your mind change your body


Lori and Michelle


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1 comment

Sam October 21, 2016 - 10:42 pm

Great video ladies! I don’t think I’ve ever bothered to ask myself Why I have these feelings…so simple! Michelle, will you be doing an update on your experience? It sounds like you uncovered some good things!


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