Are you too self-critical? When you think of self-compassion what do you think of? Self-pity? Self-indulgence? Making excuses for bad behavior?
We did a few years ago.
But overtime we realized that being so self-critical got us nowhere. We only felt more unhappy, stuck and unworthy. We never thought happiness, love and success could be ours.
Until we both hit rock bottom with our skin, our digestion, our thoughts, our career, our life. We didn’t know what to do. We knew there was a better way to live. We knew things had to change.
But how? Where do we start?
We started to look more into loving our bodies, but really, learning to accept our bodies. This is where self-compassion comes into play.
Self-compassion brings about more constant feelings of self-worth than does self-esteem. We learned a lot from Kristin Neff.
Self-compassion involves taking responsibility for our behavior – good and bad – and accepting ourselves as human. We had to work on being kinder to ourselves.
We had to learn how to reframe our thoughts.
9 ways to practice self-compassion
In the video we chatted about:
- Things we do daily to help you be more compassionate to ourselves
- Being perfect
- The one phrase that totally shifted our minds therefore our lives
- If I do this then… or when this happens then I will finally be happy
- How to love yourself NOW even when you are still struggling
Why is it so easy to extend compassion towards others, but not to ourselves?
When thinking of someone else we don’t think they are only worthy because they are thin or funny, do we?
So, why do we put conditions on ourselves?
We put conditions on ourselves for many years. Putting conditions on ourselves we pretty much were putting our lives on hold. Deciding that the only way for us to be worthy is once we have achieved x,y or z.
How did we start removing conditions off ourselves?
We had to accept ourselves unconditionally.
To start loving yourself it starts with self-acceptance.
This was so hard for us to do especially when we didn’t like how we looked or felt. But we knew it was an important step for us to do if we wanted to live the life we desired.
Michelle remembers saying to herself one night during her darkest days with eczema, “This is just me, this is who I am.” She accepted that eczema was a part of her. So she stopped picking at it and started loving it.
When you start to accept yourself unconditionally, right now, you are taking a big step towards self-love.
It is not a destination but a journey. A journey that you embark on for the rest of your life. But you have to take action like doing these 9 tips.
When you start accepting your failures or struggles you are more likely going to take the necessary steps to improve your life.
Our 9 tips for self-compassion you can start doing today:
- See the positive in every situation
- Be okay with saying NO
- Set reminders on your phone with nice messages
- Ask for help
- Do things that bring you happiness every day
- Be more mindful and accept mistakes as they are part of the journey.
- Say nice things to yourself when you look in the mirror.
- Practice gratitude
- Reframe negative thoughts and beliefs
Being more mindful of your thoughts and actions and showing yourself compassion helps you move forward in life.
Say to yourself, “I am open and willing to love myself more and be more compassionate.”
We hope our tips help you realize the importance of being more compassionate to yourself and that it can really make positive changes in all parts of your life.
Lori and Michelle
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