i am not a failure

Happy May 1st friends! We can’t believe May is here and April is gone. Crazy! Seriously where does the time go?  purelyfitness-logo

tuesday purelyfitlife workout

Yesterday we had some fun with our workout as we filmed a new #purelyfitlife workout. It’s a leg based workout. It was a killer!

From taking a good bit of rest days lately we are still getting back into our workout groove. Not saying we are out of shape but we have been just feeling  blah lately.  We did not fail. Nope. We pushed through and so proud we did!!

We realized we need to work on our lower body more. Make sure to subscribe to our youtube channel to see when the workout is live.

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Yesterday we took it easy in the morning and just causally sipped on water as we took some morning supplements (cod liver oil, gelatin, l-glutamine, probiotic, vitamin D, B-complex, maca, vitex, magnesium).  And enjoyed black coffee before we ate anything. Enjoyed our coffee talk.

One thing we have learned over the months we do not always have to eat immediately. We wait till we are hungry before eating anything. By doing this we have also learned it really helps with our bowel movements. ;)

bananas chia seeds

Once we got a little hungry and knew we were about to go workout we whipped up a very random dish. We each had some eggs with one small banana and 1l2 tbsp chia seeds. Mixed it all together and enjoyed every bite.

 

beef brisket lunch

Later we enjoyed some lunch  from Whole Foods– we had a mix of shredded beets, kale, sauerkraut, yellow squash, red pepper and beef brisket.

cookies-new

Also made a few new versions of quick individual cookies and sampled a few. No failures here. Each one we felt came out!

snack cookies tea

Also, made up some matcha green tea with maca mixed in which we ate along with our variety of cookies (recipes should be up tomorrow).

mahi mahi sprouts dinner

Dinner was a simple meal of mahi mahi, brussel sprouts, mushrooms, kale, sardines, sauerkraut, and coconut oil. Heavenly.

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Failing-is-not-always-failure

Like we mentioned yesterday how we are trying to stay focused. Focusing on our long term goals both physically (with our fitness goals) and personally (with health and work).  Always working hard for more.

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Lately, well the past 2 weeks or so I (Lori) have been feeling like a failure.

I feel like I have let so many of you down. I have let myself down. I have failed.

I feel like I failed because I don’t have the answers yet. As my face still is not better.

Reasons why I have been feeling like this is because my face has been breaking out pretty bad these past few weeks. I have been crying almost everyday because of it.

UPDATE — Video here of how I am doing.

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But yesterday both Michelle and Gary kept reminding of how far I have come. That I am helping so many people. That I am not a failure.

I took some time yesterday to really think about that. How I am not a failure.

Because I am still here, I am still fighting to get clear skin for myself and for everyone else who is suffering from acne/pimples or any other skin condition. I have to keep reminding myself that I am my worst critique and that I need to really start being happy again. That my pimples do not define me.  That I can’t give up!

I have some thoughts on why my face broke out so bad. One being stress. Damn you stress.  Two being slacking on my supplements and getting my coconut oil in. Third from traveling. Fourth from eating more sugar than normal. Fifth being maybe eating fruit again (or maybe fruit has nothing to do with it).  And I am sure I can think of many other reasons.

But I am going to keep moving forward. I am not a failure. This is just more learning experience for myself to grow more. I do feel my oil pulling is till helping and I will still do it. I have a few new skin products that I am trying both for face and my back. I also feel that some of my skin issues is from vitamin deficiencies and of course hormones (which I plan on hopefully getting my hormones levels checked again as it is been almost 2 years since my last test).

I will continue to share updates on my skin here with you all. And discuss more health and skin topics here soon. But for now I am going to stick to my supplements, drinking my water, eating a fairly clean diet, exercising, getting back into yoga, and SMILE everyday. Tell myself everyday that I am beautiful and that I can do this! To stop stressing.

That all these feelings of being a failure are part of my life journey. Part of my lessons on what works and what does not.

UPDATE —  Read here to see how my skin is doing and what I am doing to stay acne free. 

Twins question:  Have you ever felt like you failed at something? How do you define failure? Do you have any inspiring quotes that you would like to share, please do :)

till next time,

xoxo

purelytwins

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42 Responses to i am not a failure

  1. I think we all have moments when we feel as though we’ve failed at certain things in our lives – sometimes work, sometimes health, sometimes our fitness. I have struggled with stomach issues my whole life and upon taking a look at my diet, I’ve realized how much what I eat affects how I feel (physically AND mentally), and when I eat poorly and feel sick later, I often feel as if I’ve failed. But I haven’t, I’m just continuing to LEARN.
    Katie @ Talk Less, Say More recently posted..Cinnamon Banana BreadMy Profile

  2. JessicaR says:

    You are definitely not a failure! :) I read every day and commented once before about my battle with severe acne. My skin is “okay” now, but certainly not flawless (I always have a few zits no matter what I do), and I still suffer from random bad breakouts… plus my skin tone sucks and I scar (permanent pitted scars) like crazy. Anyway, I was at a party this weekend and was talking with a girl about health problems. I told her about my skin and she said, “You know, I never would have guessed you used to have skin problems!” It shocked me because I feel like I still have them, but she said “used to.” It made me realize, just like you said, that I am my own worst critic. What we perceive as bad is probably nothing to people who look at us.

    Stay strong!! :)

  3. Victoria says:

    I think it was here where I read “progress not perfection” and that phrase has really suck with me. Looking back to see how far you’ve come is a good reminder that while you may not be ‘there’ yet, you are well on your way :)
    It’s indeed a journey, but you learn so much along the way!
    Victoria recently posted..Pre-Van! One week out.My Profile

  4. Oh gosh yes, probably every day! Well, maybe not every day, but at least once a week. It’s such a subjective term and feeling, and hindsight is SO 20/20. What I think are failures in the moment turn out to be blessings later on :)
    And I’ve never made eggs like that!! Interesting :)
    Paige @ Your Trainer Paige recently posted..Eats Lately, Introducing 1-1 Virtual Training Sessions, Blend AgainMy Profile

  5. :( i am so sorry to hear that you are feeling that way! i know i can’t fully understand what you are going through. my face is pretty clear except for a couple pimples around TTOTM. to reduce the chance of a bigger breakout, i cut coffee and alcohol consumption 7 days before i am due for a period.

    i actually find that fruit helps my skin look brighter, hydrated etc. i am particular about my fruits though..i like papaya, pineapple, blue/raspberries and banana. sometimes i have an apple but not often bc they tend to give me tummy troubles.

    my skin is combo so i never considered the oil pulling method. you girls know i use eminence products. am wash: sweet red rose (my skin is sensitive) and night, i wipe off my eye makeup/bb cream from my T zone with say yes to cuke wipes then wash with eminence stone crop gel. moisturize with rosehip whip and then stop touching my face! the biggest tip i can give is to be gentle,and be patient. sometimes, just giving a pimple a couple days without touching it can make it go down and heal much faster :)
    the delicate place (@misathemeb) recently posted..workstation inspiration?My Profile

    • purelytwins says:

      thanks Melissa! we are figuring out when I am in an inflamed breakout period that I might have to alter my diet some. We are cutting way down on our alcohol consumption as we know that will help, and trying to cut back on our coffee ;)
      I love eminence products as well, still using their moisturizer, we will have to try rosehip one next.
      yes being patient is key very hard to do but I am trying :)
      thanks for the love and support it means a lot.
      I hope that I can get my clear skin again, just going through some tough times to get there.

  6. Kat says:

    I think we all have feelings of failure, inadequacy, I know I struggle with my expectations of myself and where I should be in my life. The fact that you are sharing your struggle and actively promoting awareness about healthy skin/bodies is a huge inspiration and never a fail!

  7. Women are SO hard on themselves… yet we do so much. You have to look at how far you have come, be proud of what you’ve accomplished, and let go of the things you cannot control.

    One of my favorite quotes is a Japanese proverb: Fall down seven times, get up eight.

    You guys both rock!!!
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Eating for Abs + WIAWMy Profile

  8. amanda j says:

    Lori – you are absolutely beautiful, inside and out! Even though I don’t “know” you and Michalle (in person), I feel like I’ve come to know (and admire) you both through your blog. You have much more courage than I ever would to document your life and journey so openly with all of us, and please know that you have so much support and love around you. I, too, have struggles, and it’s about finding the positive and keeping our chins up in whatever ways we can (even if that means taking a “break” and watching dancing with the stars for two hours to just forget about life’s stresses! haha…). Just remember that these feeling are not permanent and definitely do NOT define the beautiful woman that you are! sending lots of virtual hugs from CA!!! xoxo

  9. Lola C. says:

    The best thing for me was to “let go”. I had severe acne 3 months before my wedding last summer. This was the time when I tried coconut oil as a moisturizer. The reason for my acne was more than just a skincare adjustment because I had it on my back and chest as well. I was crying almost everyday for a week. After a few weeks, I started accepting my skin (thanks to my husband) and it actually started to get better. It was 95% clear on the day of my wedding.

    Now, my skin is pretty much clear and my diet is more relaxed (gluten, cheese, fruit). I had to let go of the anxiety of how bad I wanted clear skin.

    Oh and coffee is something I avoid. It gives me headaches and my chin gets blotchy or breaks out when I have it.

    • purelytwins says:

      well said Lola – letting go! Something I have to focus on doing everyday, some days I am really good at it and other days not so much. But totally agree when I let things go and don’t think too much my face does better. I really need to focus on that more :) THANKS

  10. I definitely feel like a failure on a daily basis. I’m a work in progress for sure. I just take every experience as a learning experience. These are the things that mold us. Keep your chin up and always move forward. Looking back doesn’t do anyone any good when you focus on the negative. Big hugs! xoxox
    Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) recently posted..Inspiration Versus Motivation…My Profile

  11. Kaila says:

    Oh man. Can I ever relate!

    There are days when the fact that the list of things I haven’t fixed (hormones, leaky gut, stress eating, acne, amenorrhea, chronic pain etc. etc.) plus all of the things I haven’t finished (workouts, supplement plans, blog posts, cleaning out my email inbox, et. al.) just start to weigh on me, and it gets really easy to look at the negatives.

    I’ve been struggling with that a lot, and it’s actually made the stress/hormones/acne worse–perfect, right? But I love the quotes you posted, and I think it’s just a matter of surrounding yourself with the people who will be most supportive while you’re learning to support your own positive thoughts. It’s why I started my podcast, actually–I wanted to surround myself with people who are learning to figure it out and love themselves. I am using the lessons I learn from them to start forgiving myself for what I see as “failures” and realize that they’re just road blocks or detours, and they’re all markers of something special about my journey.

    Two days ago, I spoke to my cousin on the show–she’s 21 (so young!), but she’s found this really great spirituality after a life of dealing with a lot of confusion and pain. Hearing her talk about letting go of her story–the story she tells herself about failure, about regret, about lack, about whatever it is that can stop her from moving forward–really helped me put things into perspective.

    I hope you continue giving yourself the extra love you need while you heal (and I promise to try to practice what I preach as well). I know I don’t comment particularly often, but as I’ve mentioned once or twice, I’ve been following you guys for about two years, and reading about your struggles and your wins has really helped me in my own life. Thank you so much, and I hope you have a beautiful day.

    Stay hungry,
    Kaila
    @MissSkinnyGenes
    Kaila recently posted..UN-Podcast 007: UN-AnchoredMy Profile

    • purelytwins says:

      thank you Kaila for commenting :) and sharing your cousins story – you and her are so inspiring! I am so happy that my journey is helping you :) that makes me smile and know that I am not a failure! thanks again for the love and support!
      HUGS

  12. Miz says:

    BIG HUGE HUGS from California.
    Man I can relate.
    Lately I feel Ive been wife-failing as Ive been stretched MOTHERING-thin.
    Miz recently posted..We are storytellers.My Profile

  13. oh sweetheart, you are NOT a failure!!! Your skin issues are something beyond your control. You’ve put so much effort into trying to fix them, no one would ever think you failed. Failing would have been not trying at all!
    Katie @ Peace Love & Oats recently posted..One Word WednesdayMy Profile

  14. Gis says:

    Hi Lori and Michelle. Just wanted to say that this kind of posts are the ones that really inspire me most. You are great examples of awesome people ;) Thanks for sharing each and everyone of your discoverings, they help more than you could think. Keep going I’m sure it’ll get better and skin problems will be solved n.n I’ve had many skin problems (and other issues) too, and yoga has really helped me, as well as writing on a notebook the things that are bothering me (hope that helps).
    Anyway, you are not a failure (at all). My best wishes to you :)

  15. Melissa C says:

    Lori, I am so sorry to hear you are still struggling with acne. I really admire your determination to have clear skin and to be honest, every time I see a photo or video of you on the blog I think that your skin looks beautiful! You are right when you say you are your own worst critic. I am the same way with my stomach issues. I have come along way, but still feel I have a long way to go! Thank you for sharing your struggles with everyone who reads your blog, I know it can’t be easy. You are not a failure, you have come so far! :) :)

  16. Cel says:

    your skin reflects what is going on inside your body! keep tweaking your diet and you’ll figure it out :) most important thing is fruit for antioxidants, vitamin C, vitamin D! Have faith!

  17. Julie M says:

    I’ve had some severe cystic acne bumps the past 2 weeks. They hurt bad, they look bad, but I keep reminding myself that it will go away soon. I have to not touch my face, watch what I eat and consistently use my products. It will get better, no worries.
    Julie M recently posted..Good Form RunningMy Profile

    • purelytwins says:

      same here! I feel your pain! I am experiencing some painful acne as well, and yes I have to keep telling myself they are going to go away :) HUGS

  18. Hang in there, Hun! I am in the same place…..really struggling with little to no progress! It is so difficult to go through each day feeling so foggy, low energy, bloated, heavy, etc…. BUT i am not willing to give up! My mom has said, it would be easier to lay down and “die” or throw the towel in, right??! But do you want to do that?? I KNOW you don’t want that!!! You have got to keep telling yourself you are beautiful! I know how difficult it is, but it will help! Also, I recently heard someone say that it would be much less money and much less frustration (and of course save time) to just pay up front for a little testing rather than always chasing the issues and never getting to the root of them. I have no idea of your situation, but perhaps seeing a functional med doctor and getting some testing done would be beneficial at this point so you can get to the root of the issues.
    Deanna@healthyleanfit recently posted..Sunday….fun day??My Profile

  19. Michele says:

    Hello,

    I am new to reading your blog so I don’t know what you have tried to treat your acne. I too have struggled with acne for years and I can totally relate to how upsetting and frustrating it can be. About 6 months ago I got a prescription from my dermatologist for sodium sulfacetamide 10% and sulfur 5%, and it has made my face consistently clear for the first time in my life. I use it once a day because it’s very drying, but that’s enough to get mostly clear skin. I used to constantly get these huge awful painful zits in combination with lots of little whiteheads, but since using this treatment I only get a smallish whitehead every now and then, mostly around my period. I’m also using cetaphil and oil of olay complete moisturizer for sensitive skin. I don’t know if you want something all-natural, and if so, unfortunately my current plan is not all-natural. I wanted to go that direction but since this is working so well, I’m not messing with it. Just wanted to share in case you want to try this sulfur treatment. Good luck.

  20. amanda says:

    Hi pretty gals! You are both doing such a great job with your blog – keep it up!

    Ms. Lori:
    I feel like we are going through the exact same troubles. My skin goes through spurts where it breaks out all over my back (which is very bad again), my face (jaw and chin, but now is moving to my forehead and temple area – strange), and often my chest. Right now all three are having a pizza party, together – ugh :( I eat a good clean diet, but am starting to believe this has nothing to do with my food choices, but rather as you mention – stress and hormones! I too believe to have some absorption problems as well. Sweet Lori, I know how difficult and disappointing it is to constantly feel as though be are battling with this. I have had acne for YEARS and it never seems to go away. I have cried, missed out on events, and years ago even stayed home for 2 straight weeks – it was just so bad. The deep depression this has caused is yet another side effect. I have envied every clear skinned woman out their, deeming myself as a mutant.

    Ever fear and feelings of failure stem from this acne. I have so much to offer the world, but am afraid because I don’t ‘look’ the part. What helps me is to focus on the positives – what DO you love about yourself and your life? I can help you start the list…
    You are the sweetest little darling (I can just tell – I m good at sensing these attributes), your hair is gorgeous, you have a cute little smile, you are in a partnership that is full of love, you have your twin aka BFF, and your fur baby – Jax!

    I have added you on Facebook I’m Amanda B****s….if you ever want to talk. Also, when we can get this under control I can share some tips and ideas for scarring.

    Sending all my love and hugs.

    Remember, the only direction to go is forward – keep going girl!!

    Amanda
    xo
    amanda recently posted..The first Blog Entry and My Journey to learning about Healthy, Whole & Living FoodsMy Profile

    • purelytwins says:

      oh dear Amanda!!! I wish I could give you a hug right now!!! It does sound like we have such similar issues with acne. Damn stress and hormones haha
      I have missed out doing things as well, I tend to hibernate in my house when I get a back flare-up.
      And yes I need to remember all those things that I love and very grateful in my life to keep me going :)
      You’re such a sweetie, thank you so much!!!

  21. Brooke says:

    Sometimes I feel like my plate is so full that instead of doing a few things and being really good at them, I’m trying to do everything and failing at it all. The question for me becomes who am I depending on? There is nothing I can do in my own strength. Thankfully, God is greater. My stubborn pride just needs to recognize and cling to that truth!

    You girls are both doing so amazing! You inspire so many, and your honesty and transparency is so refreshing. Cling to hope, and to promises. And just keep going!! Hugs!

  22. Alex @ Alex Tries it Out says:

    I think that often, when we feel we fail, we’re being too hard ourselves. I know I do that!

    Keep your head up – you’re not a failure!

  23. Lynda says:

    Thank you so much for your honesty. You have probably tried this already but can i suggest that you get back onto a good quality fish oil and a b complex. Metagenics is reputable brand which has therapeutic doses of nutrients. ive also started to cleanse my face with organic coconut oil. simply warm a small amount in your hands and massage into your face. make sure that you remove all oil with a warm/hot face cloth. finally as you’ve stated, stress may be a big contributing factor so id tackle the stress first and foremost, nurture your nervous system (the b vits will help with this), magnesium and certain herbs. stress is the driver of inflammation which can lead to probs with digestion, hormones etc…yoga always grounds my anxious butt..

    A quote from Helen Keller for you: “character can not be developed in ease and quiet. only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved”

  24. Ah woman! I feel ya. I know how hard it can be. I will look at my face and my heart will sink when I see new spots or areas that I can just tell are about to breakout. And then I do what you do: cry, stress, beat myself up inside. And know what? It only makes it worse. I break out worse after a stressful day and after times when I’ve cried…so it’s so hard to break the cycle! I just need to keep calm, keep drinking water and exercising, and trying to find more things that keep me happy and relaxed. What a bummer card to be dealt but I’m so glad you know how many women you’ve helped!
    Melissa @ Treats With a Twist recently posted..Strawberry-Swirl Honey Yogurt CakeMy Profile

  25. Heather says:

    Hi !! I have been reading your blog for some time now and just love it! I felt compelled to write you after reading this post. I say exactly like you and for years I struggled with acne. I have up grains, dairy, all soy and all meat. I eat fish and eggs on occasion but am mostly raw. I still suffered with able. I implemented coconut oil as the only moisturizer j use and I use a sea salt bath bar on my face. My acne cleared up immediately but began to resurface overnight the day I tried to add back in fresh fruit. Ironocally, dates and dried figs don’t bother me. I eat tons of chia, hemp and flax along with coconut for healthy fats and protein, leafy greens and veggies and root veggies. However if I touch fresh fruit or tomatoes, I break out. I believe the lectins in to tomatoes are my issue and for some reason fruit does not like me. I have acne like a teenager if I eat it. I cried for months before giving it up.

    I write you this because my skin is now clear as a bell and I’ve never seen if look so great. I’m amazed! I don’t know if this will work for you but try it. I do tolerate acai berries and raspberries ok, but nothing else except dates and figs. I know it sounds strange, but I’m guessing it has something up do with the specific sugars in those fruits.

    Hope good helps!!i

  26. Bee says:

    Lori, hang in there, luv. I know how frustrating it can be.

    Have u looked into PCOS or estrogen dominance? Calcium Deglucerate helps sop up excess estrogen. Also, another issue could be sulfur and histamine. Your diet is very high in these two elements, which can cause acne (especially if u have a genetic polymorphism that is activated and thus your sulfation pathway is clogged). SMALL doses of molybdenum like 30mg (working up to 500) can help, as well as sprinkling 1/2 cap of yucca onto foods with protein (helps with ammonia detox).

    Perhaps see if doing a lower sulfur/histamine diet might help?

    Hugs!

  27. Katie says:

    you are so wonderful and the farthest thing from a failure I love you both! life is ups and downs! hang in there Lori! xxoo
    Katie recently posted..FOODIE FRIDAY | Be KIND to yourself | giving away KINDNESSMy Profile

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